1. Take a genuine interest
Dale Carnegie says “you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you”. See, no one is interested in you, neither in me, the interest of people in themselves, from morning to afternoon and from noon to evening. When you see a group photo, who do you first look for in that picture? If we want to impress someone or if we want him to take an interest in us, then by doing this, we will never have good friends because real friends are not made like this. A person can win his time, attention, and support by taking a true interest in someone. If you want others to like you if you want to develop your friendship, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind.
We should always smile because “Action speaks louder than words”, and the smile says, “I like you. you make me happy. I’m happy to see you”. If you don’t feel like smiling? Then what to do? Just two things. First of all, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself to sing a tune or a song. Believe that you were already happy, and that will make you happy. Everyone in the world is looking for happiness and there is a better way to find it that by controlling your thoughts. Happiness does not depend on the external situation, rather it depends on the inner situation. There is a Chinese proverb that “a person without a smiling face should not open a shop”. Your smile is the messenger of your goodwill. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people drown, scorch, or turn their faces, your smile is like a sun passing through the clouds. Especially when someone is in the pressure of his boss, his customer, his teacher or parents, or children. A smile can help him to realize that not everyone is disappointed but there is also happiness in the world.
3. Remember people’s name
The average people are more interested in their names in comparison to all other names on the Earth. Remember that name and call it easily, and you gave a very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it, then you have done yourself great harm. For example, Andrew Carnegie wanted to sell Steel Rail to Pennsylvania Rail. Edgar Thomson was then president of the Pennsylvania Railroad. Andrew Carnegie built a very large steel mill in Pittsburgh and called it “Edgar Thomson Steel Works“. When the Pennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails, where do you think Edgar Thomas bought them? The policy of remembering and honoring the names of his friends and business partners was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie’s leadership. He was proud of the fact that he could call many of his factory workers by their first names, and he claimed that no strike disturbed his steel mills while he was personally in charge. Names create differences between each other, This makes everyone unique from other people. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be an attentive listener
See, if you want to know how people will keep you away from themselves and laugh at you behind your back and even do your evil, then just do one thing for it: Never listen to a person. Talk about yourself constantly. If you have an idea while another person is talking, do not wait for him to finish, interrupt him, and start speaking your words in between. This way you can make your enemy. So if you want to be a good conversationalist, then be an attentive listener. See, to become interested, one has to take an interest in other people first. Ask them questions that people enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their achievement. Remember that the people you are talking with are a hundred times more interested in their lives and problems than yours. So be a good listener and encourage them to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
Everyone who was once the guest of Theodore Roosevelt used to be surprised seeing his knowledge. Whether his visitor was a shepherd or a politician or a diplomat, Roosevelt knew what to say to someone. And how was it done? The answer was simple. Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he would sit up late at night, reading on a topic in which he knew his guests were most interested. Roosevelt knew and all the leaders know, that the way to the heart of any human being is by talking to him in which he takes the most interest. So don’t talk to people about your interest, rather talk about their interests, ask them what they like, what is their hobby, etc.
6. Make the other person feel important.
Obviously, to make someone likes you, for this, you have to say something good, not about yourself but him. Dale Carnegie says that whenever he talked to someone, he used to feel him important. By doing this he wanted to get something. Which was priceless. And he got it. They felt that they had done something for that person without expecting that person would do something for them in return. And this is a feeling that remains in your memories even after a long time after that incident in the past. There is a very important law here, if we obey then we will not be in trouble, we have lots of friends and constant happiness. But as soon as we break this law we will have endless problems. And that law is – “Make the other person feel important”. So always make people feel important, do not insult them.
From the book HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.
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